The Joy of Clones
by QueenOfTheYaoi
Summary: Roxas is taking lessons on how to make clones, but doesn't see why.  So Zexion shows him.  How?  By messing with his head, of course.  Friendship ZexionXRoxas, a teasing Zexion and a very confused Roxas.


A lone blonde sat at one of the several desks in the library. Roxas groaned and slammed his textbook shut. Why in hell did Xemnas want him to learn this stuff? He didn't see a point to it. Roxas knew his duties and did them efficiently. Why did he need to learn how to make clones?

"Uuugh…How is knowing how to make copies of myself useful in any way?" The question was rhetorical and sarcastic. Zexion, who was supposed to be his "teacher" when it came to magic (and according to Xemnas, that's the category clone-making falls into), looks at him over the edge of his book. The bluenette was sitting in his usual blue lounge chair, a few feet from the desk.

"Clones are very useful, XIII." Roxas sighed.

"I really don't see how." Zexion put a bookmark in his book. He closed it and set it on the small table beside the chair before dawning a thinking face.

"IX uses his water clones to get out of missions. Since they are, or rather supposed to be, near exact copies of their creator, it is quite easy to send one in your place."

"Are you encouraging me to follow Demyx's example?"

"Never."

"Thought so. Anything else?" Zexion again puts on his thinking face.

"Hmm…XII uses his flower clones to fight for him. In means of extra support, clones are also useful."

"If you say so." The blonde looked at his nails, obviously bored with the conversation/lecture he was having/getting with/from his periwinkle haired mentor.

"VIII also uses his fire clones to get out of trouble. Clones have free will until you order them to do something specific. He will play pranks on other members and blame it on clones he, supposedly, doesn't remember making."

"Fascinating." Roxas yawned. Zexion rolls his eyes before a lightbulb appeared over his head.

"Would you care to see how I use my shadow clones?" Roxas shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sure." Zexion smirked and snapped his fingers, disappearing into a haze of smoke moments later. Roxas just blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. "…Okay, I didn't just see that." He looked around the room. "Zexion, where'd you go?" Someone tapped his shoulder. He sighed and smiled, turning to look at the bluenette. "You really gotta stop pulling disappearing acts on-" His jaw dropped. It wasn't Zexion that had tapped him. Well, it was…but not actually him. Or maybe it was. There stood not one Zexion, but five, none of which Roxas could tell apart. They all shared the same victorious smirk, most likely caused by the blonde's obviously shocked and confused expression. All five spoke in unison.

"I find clones to be very entertaining." Roxas just looked, dumbfounded.

"I don't know which one I'm supposed to be looking at…" They all laughed a bit.

"XIII, let's make a deal." Roxas met eyes with each clone.

"What kind of deal?"

"How many of us do you see?"

"Five."

"Can you tell us apart?"

"Nope, not a bit."

"Then which of us is the real Zexion?" The blonde's eyes widened. They all looked like Zexion. Roxas couldn't tell which was the original.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, you aren't." Roxas shot them each a glare.

"Then why ask me?"

"Clones are not perfect replicas. They all have small differences from the original, whether they be through body or personality."

"Okay, now what does this have to do with making a deal?" Another low laugh from the group from Zexions.

"If you find the real one before 'class' has ended, I'll tell Xemnas that you are well informed on clones and have your lessons concluded." Roxas looked at the clock. He had about an hour before his lesson was supposed to be over.

"So if I pick out the original, no more annoying lessons and text books?" Five synchronized nods. Roxas smiles. "Okay, you're on." Roxas steps closer to the Zexions, looking them over. He groans. "Line up for me." They do as they are told. Roxas goes to the desk and rummages through one of the drawers, pulling out a black marker. He returns to the now orderly line and tells them to hold out their hands. The Zexions again do as the blonde told them. Roxas went down the line, writing a number on their wrists. All five raise an eyebrow.

"What is this for?"

"Simplicity's sake. If I just call you all Zexion, it'll get pretty confusing." They nod in agreement again and Roxas begins to look them all over. Looking for physical differences seemed the easiest. He laughed. "This reminds me of those 'spot the differences' puzzles in coloring books."

"That's essentially what it is." They all say again. Roxas thought back to Zexion's looks. He was kinda tall, thin and lanky, with light blue hair and dark blue eyes. The first thing that came to mind was to compare their heights. On the real Zexion, Roxas was about level with his collarbone. He went up and measured himself against the five and sighed when he realized they were all the same height. The Zexion's snickered.

"It's difficult, is it not? I am the best clone maker, after all."

"Hmph. Don't get cocky, I'll figure it out."

"Oh, will you?" Roxas ignores them and continues to think of Zexion's features. His hair was a weird, slate-ish color. The blonde looked at their heads, smiling widely when he reached Zexion four.

"You're a clone." Zexion four nods.

"Uh huh. What gave me away?"

"Your hair is a darker shade than the other four."

"Okay." Zexion four steps out of line and behind Roxas, who was still looking over the other four clones, to observe the fun of a confused yet determined child. The next thing that came to mind was the eyes. Zexion had one silver eye and one midnight blue eye. After the incident between him and the blonde, he had stopped wearing the colored contact he normally wore to hide his eye color. Roxas smirked and walked to Zexion five, brushing the hair away from his hidden eye. Silver. Zexion three, silver. Zexion two, silver. Zexion one…midnight blue.

"You're a clone, too."

"Yes, yes I am. My eyes made it obvious, I presume?"

"Yup."

"Very well." Zexion one stood next to four. Roxas furrowed his brow.

"I don't see anymore differences."

"Well then now would be a good time to move on to personality traits, wouldn't it?" The remaining three harmonized. Roxas sent them glares. Zexion was quiet and calm, with an almost antisocial personality. He was always reading, he wasn't fond of loud things (or people), and spent most of his day in either the library or the laboratory with Vexen. He also had a tendency to be a bit of a critic and a perfectionist. A lightbulb dinged in Roxas's head. He opened a corridor of darkness to the kitchen, pulling a bottle of coke out of the fridge before returning and shutting the portal behind him. He smirked at the three Zexions slyly. He unscrewed the cap and quickly poured half the bottle onto the white rug. Zexion two and five looked on in shock and disapproval and before Roxas even had a moment to get the cap back on, they were there with a bucket of hot water, some soap, and a towel. Zexion three just shrugged. Roxas pointed at him.

"Clone." The third clone just shrugged again and nodded, moving behind Roxas to take his place beside the other two confirmed clones. The blonde sighed. "Three down, two to go."

"Yes, and fifteen minutes to figure it out." They both said, pointing to the grandfather clock. Roxas looked at it and gasped. Fifteen minutes left. He could rule out one more in fifteen minutes, right? Another lightbulb it up in his head. The blonde walked down the hall of shelves, picking up a book that Zexion knew very well, and returning. He held the book up.

"You two care to tell me what this is?"

"A collection of Shakespeare's sonnets, and one of my favorite compositions of poetic literature." They answered calmly. Roxas pulled out a lighter and abruptly set the book on fire. The Zexions both stare, wide eyed. They knew they could fix it, but it was still a shock. Was Roxas that desperate to get out of his lessons? To resort to burning books that he himself also enjoyed reading? The Zexions gulped as they watched the last of the book turn to ash in Roxas's hand. Roxas sighed. They had given the same reaction. That didn't help at all, and the blonde was quickly running out of ideas. He pulled his I-pod out of his coat, quickly unwinding the earbuds and putting one in Zexion two's ear and the other in Zexion five's. He turned the volume up as high as the small device would allow, scrolled down to "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" and pressed play.

_Let the bodies hit the floor, Let the bodies hit the floor, Let the bodies hit the floor, Let the bodies hit the…_

…_FLOOOOOOOOR!_

The blunettes winced at the word "floor" and quickly pulled the buds out of their ears before shooting Roxas a sharp glare. Roxas growled.

"Oh, come on! There's gotta be something else!"

"Might I suggest reading the textbook for ideas?"

"…Hmph." Roxas stomped off and promptly opened his discarded book to the section about clone identification.

_There is no such thing as a perfect clone. All clones have some type of difference from their creators. However slight or evident those differences might be, however, depends on the skill of whomever the clone is modeled after._

Roxas sighed as he skimmed the pages for the umpteenth time. He knew all of this already. He continued to read, disheartened, until his eyes brushed over something that could help.

_A clone and its' creator do not share a conscious mind. Clones are similar to blank copies. They can do anything, but not until programmed to do so. Therefore, clones have no recollection of past events of their creator._

The blonde smirked. In lay man's terms, that means that clones do not share memories with their creator. He knew something that might work.

"Hey, guys?"

"Yes?"

"What was the name of the song that you and Demyx played for me?" Both put fingers to their lips in a thinking pose.

"Comatose." An angry vein popped on the side of Roxas's head. He stared down at the still open book, throwing it against the library wall.

"Damn you, books, you lied to me!" The blonde yells as he sees the hard book connect with the concrete wall. He sits back at his desk and slams his head into it. Zexions two and five come closer to him. Zexion two is speechless. Zexion five studied the younger boy's face as he watched the desk rock with every new head injury, the blonde bringing them on himself. Eventually, Roxas stopped banging a hole into the poor, defenseless desk, instead folding his arms and laying his forehead on them. Five patted the blonde's shoulder as he watched the clock tick down.

"Don't worry, Roxy, I'm sure you did much better than most beginners would." Roxas just sighed.

"Thanks, Zexi-" Roxas's head shot up. "Wait, did you just call me Roxy?" Zexion five smacked his hand over his own mouth, lest he say something to give himself away any more. Zexion two groaned.

"Good job, smart one." Zexion five grinned sheepishly. The other three confirmed clones sweatdropped. Roxas jumped out of his seat and jabbed a finger at the fifth Zexion.

"Clone! Clone, clone, clone, clone clooooone!" He pointed his finger at Zexion two. "And you're the original!" The blonde looked at the clock. A minute remained of his "class". "And a minute to spare! HA! Take that!" He broke into a victory dance, which all five Zexions snickered at. The real Zexion snapped his fingers and the other four clones disappeared.

"Fine, fine, I'll tell Superior to end your clone lessons. You win." The blonde nodded in approval and smiled, crossing his arms in a satisfied gesture. He'd bested the best clone maker in the Organization! That was a good little ego inflator. He didn't even realize he was still bouncing happily until Zexion put his hands on his shoulders, holding him down and forcing him to stop. "Relax, XIII, it isn't too big of a deal." He removed his hands and Roxas immediately started bouncing again.

"Yes it is! I gotta go tell Axel! AXELLLLL!" He ran out of the library, wide smile still splitting his face. Zexion sighed.

"Note to self, never give XIII a Monster before class ever again."


End file.
